PUBLISHED ON February 14th, 2011
Ah, romance. We long for it. We lay intricate plans to make it happen. Multi-billion-dollar industries have cropped up to help us achieve it.
Today, couples across the United States will be pulling out all the stops to bring a little romance to their lives with flowers, chocolate, champagne, candlelight, intimate dinners and other common techniques. However, most people don’t even think about one of the most important elements of romance: good pest control.
If you’re shaking your head in bewilderment right now, keep in mind that nothing brings romance to a screeching halt like a pest infestation. An inopportune visit from a creepy-crawly can turn an intimate evening into a nightmare, complete with screaming and attempts to flee.
If you keep your wits about you, you can sometimes get the romance back on track by playing the hero and coming up with an appropriate pest solution, such as squishing the spider or flushing out the mouse. But some pests kill romance so thoroughly, there’s no going back. Following are the top three romance-destroying pests to avoid this Valentine’s Day:
It suck’d me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be
The poet John Donne may have seen the romantic side of fleas, but don’t count on your sweetie agreeing. Cuddling isn’t enjoyable when you’re feeling itchy and need to take a time out for some heavy scratching. The unsightly welts don’t help matters, either.
It’s hard to be intimate when a blood-sucking parasite is snacking on you. Vampires may have romanticized the whole blood sucking bit, but you know what they say: Never invite one into your home.
The sight of a cockroach evokes a primal response of nausea and disgust. Not only do these household pests bear harmful, disease-causing bacteria, but with their hairy legs and probing antennae, they’re some of the most repugnant insects on the planet.
While you may be able to get away with naming a cockroach after your sweetheart at the Bronx Zoo, don’t count on a kiss if the cockroach in question is milling about your living room. Instead, call a pest control company.
Clean, soft sheets? Check. Comfortable mattress? Check. Ambient lighting? Check.
Time alone with your valentine? Not if you have bed bugs.
Bed bugs can invade your love nest and turn it into a hive of creepy, crawly horror. Once they’ve moved in, they’re extremely difficult to evict without the help of a pest control professional.
The Facebook dating app AreYouInterested.com found in a survey that 45 percent of respondents would cancel a date if they found out the person had bed bugs. You probably won’t see them, and you may not even feel them, but if you’re sweetie finds out you have them, you can kiss any romantic trysts in the bedroom goodbye.
Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at Eden!